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fathom yachts
You reason, their reason?
A lot of adoptees are lucky enough to get the chance to get to meet or at least speak with their birth parents. Most people have some sort of idea of why their birth parents gave them up.
My question is, what were your thoughts on why you were given up and how much different were they from the reason your birth parent gave you?
I was never given a 'reason' by my aparents. I was told she was "one of the youngest girls to ever come through" the agency.
This created for me a fantasy of a girl whom something VERY bad had happen to...was she raped? What kind of a girl gets pregnant at what, 12, 13? My child's mind just couldn't fathom what had happened to create this situation where I had to be adopted. I often wonder if this 'story' influenced my amother as well. Even though I was a very 'good' girl, I was always treated like a whore. Never trusted around boys. My amother even tracked my menstrual cycles--to make sure I wasn't knocked up like my tramp of a mother?
I met my nmother at 22. She was living in a house a five minute walk from the Pacific. She had never really worked. My DH called her a 'trustifarian'. She gets money from her very wealthy family. She was 22 when she had me. She had met my father at their parent's yacht club. The big 'problem' is that he wasn't 'ready' to marry her. And her mother pushed for me to me given away--NO ONE kept a baby out of wedlock in the early 1960s!
So, yes, my 'thoughts' (lies supplied by the Lutheran adoption agency) were quite different from the reality. Maybe, just maybe, had my parents been told the truth (!) I wouldn't have paid for my mother's 'sin', and had a shred of self-esteem as a child.
Secrets and lies are NEVER healthy!
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